Pests, Sleeping Husbands, and Glue Boards (and what they have in common)



I hate insects and I really can’t stand them in my home.
That is a bit challenging because we live in a travel trailer in a pretty heavily wooded area. This means lots of insects and occasionally one will find its way inside.

And I don’t take it very well.

Case in point, this evening I was sitting on the sofa, doing a little work when when I catch movement out of the corner of my eye. I have pretty excellent peripheral vision.

Yeah, not having any of THAT.

My husband was asleep and I debated whether to ask him to come to my rescue or let him continue to peacefully slumber, blissfully ignorant of the trauma that was taking place in the living room.

Trauma won. He can go back to sleep.

I tiptoed down the hall (not sure why, I mean, I was going to wake him up) and eased the door open. I could see his shape in the dark. I scanned the walls for any other “guests” (our walls are light so the dark little blobs would show up easily). I was starting to seriously freak out. It went something like this:

Me: CW? You awake?

CW: Hmmm? (bless his heart, he’s tired – but I am completely traumatized here and need help!)

Me: Are you awake? I really need you (trying to keep my voice calm).

CW: What’s wrong? (Do I detect a hint of laughter in his voice – this isn’t the first time we’ve been down this road)

Me: There’s a bug in the living room and I need you to kill it! I wasn’t going to wake you up, but IT’S IN MY PURSE! I can’t even get my phone out or my keys or anything!

CW: Why do you need your keys? It’s 10 o’clock.

Me: I don’t need my keys right now. But if I wanted to get them I couldn’t because there’s a bug in there! A huge bug! A monster.

Now he’s openly laughing; not even trying to hide it.

Me: I’m serious! I didn’t get a good look at it but I’m pretty sure it’s HUGE! I think they’re organizing and it’s gathering inter in my purse! I’m pretty sure it’s staking me with deadly intent! Please! You have to come get it out of there! Please! Get it out of there and KILL IT!

CW: (still chuckling to himself, gets out of bed and strolls into the living room, apparently completely oblivious to the six legged MONSTER that has taken over my purse!)

He looks at me. I am by the door, prepared to bolt if necessary. Then I realize he needs to be by the door to get that vicious beast out of my bag. I also realize that he has NO intention of killing it!

Me: No! You have to KILL it! KILL it and drive a stake through its battered body and put it outside to send a message to all the other savages that want to come it!

This is also about the time I realize that he has NO intention of killing it. He’s just going to set it free so it can continue its evil plot against me.

I also realize that now that I’ve moved toward the hallway if that horror is loosed I will have nowhere to go.

As he opens the door, it crawls out of my bag and falls (or flies?) to the floor. I can’t believe the size! I mean, you could put a saddle on that thing and ride it to the store!

CW: Well, I have good news and bad news.

Me: What?! Good news? Bad news? I am freaking out and you’re talking in riddles!

CW: The good news it, it’s out of your purse.

I relax a little.

CW: The bad news is, it got away before I could get it outside. It went there (he points to the sofa where I sit). It went somewhere back there.

— not gonna shriek — not gonna shriek — not gonna shriek — yeah, totally shrieking!

Now he’s very openly laughing.

Me: I am glad you find this, my trauma, so amusing.

CW: (laughing harder now) It’s just a palmetto bug.

Me: JUST?! Nothing that size is JUST anything!
I HATE bugs!

CW: Well, technically, it’s not a bug, it’s an insect.

Me: Seriously? We’re being INVADED! We’re on the verge of an ATTACK and you want to discuss semantics?
That thing is NOT natural! It has to be a mutant and it does NOT belong in my house! What can I do to get rid of it? To kill it?

CW: Well, you can use a glue board. (he shrugs a little and I’m starting to feel like maybe he isn’t taking this as seriously as he should – I mean, we’re being invaded!)

Me: Can I get them at Walmart?

CW: Well, uh, yeah. (I think maybe he is beginning to understand the gravity of this situation.)

Me: I need money.

Now he’s laughing again. He kissed me and went back to bed – still laughing I might add. How can he sleep knowing that this rabid beast is loose in our home? I just don’t understand.

And that is why I was at Walmart at 10:30 at night. I bought 8 glue boards and placed them at various points throughout the trailer. Yes, I will pick them up before I let the pup out of his kennel in the morning. Hopefully there will be a carcass attached to one of them.

Did you know that if you get a glue board stuck to your skin that olive oil takes it right off? Yeah, neither did I.

I do now.

Live and learn.


Open Letter to My Abuser

Note: This is a guest post. I am posting it for a friend. She is in fear for her life right now because of her involvement in an abusive relationship. She has been victimized and though she has gotten away from him, he continues to pursue her and terrorize her.

I hope this raises awareness. Leaving an abusive relationship is often only the beginning of yet another nightmare.

My dearest love/abuser:

How did we come to this?

Today I made out papers to have you–the one I have loved so very much–arrested. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I took no joy in it.

How did we come to this?

As I filled out the paragraphs of things you have done, threats, abuse, breaking into my home, my mind couldn’t help but wander back to happier times. You came to me at a time when I was at my most vulnerable, sick mentally and physically from what another had done. You took my hand and helped me up. You told me that I deserved better, and knew exactly what to say and do to put me at ease and calm my fears.

I thought that I had found a haven with you, and we soon became inseparable. I trusted you with my heart and my life, and this was my first mistake.

The signs I ignored are so clear to me now, the times we ran into your friends, and you stood with me behind you while I waited for introductions that never came, the photos where you were so careful to leave a space between us, another person, a table., etc., the frequent texts and private phone calls, the intense jealousy that I thought meant that you loved me. How foolish I was.

The punishment and reward pattern did not become clear until after the abuse intensified. When I pleased you, life was good, but I pleased you less and less. I tried harder to make you happy, but this became first a very difficult task, then an impossible one.

It wasn’t always this way. Because of you I had started writing again. I resumed my singing and my photography, long abandoned talents. I felt beautiful again because you said that I was. I had found myself in your eyes, but then your eyes turned from me.

Now I have to ask someone else to protect me from you.

The policeman said the protective order would not save my life, the judge would not grant it, and you laughed. The eyes that once held such warmth turned cold, and you laughed.

You broke into my home and went through my things. You threaten me daily, so now I have signed these papers. They won’t save me either… but I will.

I’ll save me because I’m tired. I’m tired of being bullied. I’m tired of backing down and being made to feel like less. So even though my eyes teared up and my hands shook, I signed those papers, and you will be arrested. Where it goes from here, I don’t know. All I know is that I’m sad, tired, and hurting – but I’m still standing.

I still believe in the goodness of people. I still believe that life can be better, and I’m going to keep striving, praying, reaching out to friends, until I see the sun shine again. My dearest abuser, I’m so sorry it came to this, but I have had enough, and it ends here. The abuse will stop. I am done.

The woman who refuses to be your victim any longer

You can help her take back her life by donating to her GoFundMe account. Please give if you can.

A Letter to My Daughter on the Birth of her Child


Silas Home 1aa24 years ago you brought me across a threshold when you made me the mother of a daughter. Today we crossed one together when you became a mother and I became a grandmother. As I look at my new grandson’s sweet face I see my little girl all over again. He looks so much like you and yet he is a totally separate little person! How awesome is that?

I love you so much! I love all three of you – even if I haven’t formally met the newest member of your little family yet. I love you all with all my heart.

Oh how I wish I could be there with you to hug you, to hold my grandbaby, to breathe in that baby smell, to wonder over this incredible life that is part you, but a little part of me as well. That is something we will always share as mother and daughter. He captured my heart from the first photo. I wish so badly I could be there.  I wish it more than anything right now, but we just don’t have the money right now. I hope against all hope that in a few months I will have the money to make the trip down there and I can finally hold him. Until then, keep sending me pictures. They are almost as good as being there.

And Dad, don’t think I’ve forgotten you – this is for you both. I was so touched to hear the story of how you literally ran home from work when you found out your son was on the way! I have seen the way you treat my daughter with such love and tenderness, how you cherish her, how good you are to her, and I feel secure knowing that she is loved and protected. Every mother wants that for her child. Thank you for giving that to me. I love you as if you were my own son.

I know that this is not exactly what the two of you had planned for your lives just yet. God is a great disrupter of human plans though, but that’s OK. In the end you realize that everything happened just as it should. There will be people who do not support you, will be unkind, who will speak ill of you and to you. Don’t listen to them. Smile, say thank you, and turn away. They have not spent a moment in your shoes so they have no room or right to be critical or judgmental. Remember, God Himself created that little baby and gave him to YOU. God never makes mistakes but the outcome depends entirely on how you treasure the gift.

God has a way of putting the sweetest blessings in the most unexpected places!

I think you are going to be just fine. In fact, I am certain of it.

As a parent you always wonder “did I love her enough?” “did I nurture her enough?” Did I teach her to love without abandon? But then I see you holding your child, the way you look at him, the way you light up when he is in your arms, and I know the answer is yes. You have always been so sweet and loving with such a tender heart, I know that this baby will have the best mom (and dad!) ever.

I am so very proud of you, so honored to be your mother. I love you so much sometimes it seems as if there just isn’t room in my heart to hold it all! You are so incredibly brave and tough and strong! You did not plan this but you stepped right up and accepted the responsibility.

You chose life.

In a society where human beings can be eliminated when they are inconvenient or in the way, you my sweet daughter chose the road less traveled. It is a lot longer and a lot more difficult, but you did it -and that takes real courage.

It’s easy to do away with something you think you don’t want or that didn’t come along at the “right time.” Sure, you may remember, you may even experience guilt for ending a small life before it even began, but to stand up to your responsibility and meet the challenges head on – that takes incredible bravery. No, your life may not be exactly where you want it to be – or where you thought it would be – right now and realistically, this is not exactly the “ideal” time to have a baby, but you weren’t thinking of yourself.

And you chose life.

I love you, Mom

Be the Solution

I would like to set the record straight on something. I have gotten some flack for posting against certain behaviors that have been exhibited, supposedly as a result of discrimination and racism.
I have been accused of being “white and therefore unable to understand racism or discrimination.”
I beg to differ.
What gripes me is that I have endured terrible, even life threatening racism yet when I bring it up it is brushed away like it doesn’t matter – like I don’t matter.
At times, what I went through could have been deadly – but what’s one less white person, right?
Maybe you mean that and maybe you don’t. Regardless, that is the message you send.
No, I don’t have to “understand the frustration.” Frustration is not a valid reason for a violent response. It only shows that you aren’t smart enough to deal with it in a constructive, healthy, intelligent way.
I have a pretty good perspective on this because, you see:
I have been SHOT AT because I was the wrong color.
I have been passed over for jobs because I was the wrong color – even though I had the better qualifications.
I have been abused because of my race and my disability, physically, emotionally, and verbally.
I have watched as a two young black men burned my shed to the ground because it belonged to a white person – though I had always kept to myself and was friendly to everyone I encountered.
So, trust me, being white is not all rainbows and unicorns. I don’t know what fantasy world people have been living in but you have the WAY wrong perspective.
You know what the difference was? Although I was frustrated, hurt, and, yes, angry, I never tried to kill anyone. I never beat anyone up. I never set fire to anything or destroyed property. I never rioted. I never blocked traffic or trashed a place or looted or put anyone in harm’s way.
I found my VOICE.
Actually, we are a lot like YOU. We are a lot like each other so dividing ourselves into these silly groups just makes us weak against the overriding force that is propelling all this (and I’ll give you a hint – it has no skin color).
Wake up people! Get smart!
You are being played, manipulated, controlled. The media, your government, they want to keep you angry and frustrated. They want to keep the racial division alive. That is why they feed this monster. It is much easier to control that way. They pull the strings and you do exactly what they want you to do.
Cut. The. Strings.
You have a mind, use it. You can think for yourself, stop regurgitating the propaganda that leaders on BOTH sides of this nonsense have been filling you with. Stop letting them control you! Regardless of what they say to your face, they DO NOT have your best interest at heart. You are nothing more than a pawn to them. You are disposable. You can be replaced.
They only want to use you to further their own agenda, using your emotions to control you.
And they are succeeding.
If the violent behavior has not worked yet, what makes you think it is going to work now? If what you are doing isn’t working, then it is time to do something else!
If you want to be taken seriously then
Stop playing the race card.
Stop with the pity party!
Stop the whining.
Stop the EXCUSES!
Stop the violence.
Stop doing stupid things that cast a bad light on ALL your people (I am talking about whites, blacks, everyone here).
Stop doing things that invalidate your argument.
But don’t lump everyone in a group under the same label; that only makes you look uneducated, unintelligent, and it weakens your argument. Most of all, it makes you look RACIST.
Approach the situation with a clear, concise, intelligent response that recognizes not all people in a group can wear the same label – or should. Approach it in such a way that you offer SOLUTIONS instead of just griping about problems.
We are so much stronger standing shoulder to shoulder than we are on opposite sides of the street.
If you truly want things to change then you have to be PART OF THE SOLUTION.
And stop being part of the problem.
What can you do today to be the solution and start making a difference?

Why Transgender Men should not be Allowed in Women’s Restrooms

male female

And why as a Woman you should be Concerned

OK, I am going to share this. I haven’t told anyone about it, but in light of the controversy regarding men who “identify as female” to use the women’s restroom, I wanted to share my own personal experience – and you need to read it, especially if you are a biologically natural female or love one.

This is why I am against transgender men being allowed in the women’s restroom.

I was in Walmart a couple of months ago and I went into the women’s restroom that is located in the front of the store (this is in Goose Creek, South Carolina, near Charleston).

A young girl had walked in just ahead of me; she was maybe 10 or 11 years old. She went into the first stall and I went to the next one. As I walked in, I glanced toward the entrance to see an transgender man walk in (he was wearing a green dress, make up, medium length hair – but absolutely a man).

I hesitated, that maternal instinct rose up quickly but I figured the girl would be OK because she was already in the stall. So I went in my own stall. The girl started crying and I heard the mother (I assume she was the mother) come in and stand right by the door. I heard the little girl say the “scary man” was looking at her.

Then I looked up to lock eyes with him as we was staring at me through the crack in the door!

I heard the mother get the little girl out of there and I hurried up and got out too. I opened the door and nearly ran over the guy who boldly just stood there and kept staring at me.

Were any words exchanged? No.
Was anyone physically hurt? No.
But you don’t need any of that to feel threatened and uncomfortable. I definitely felt threatened.

It was a terrible experience and as women we should be protected from situations like this. Now that it is a free-for-all our protections are gone, annihilated.
If you are a woman this should concern you. If you have a woman in your life that you love, this should concern you. How is it OK to open this door, to allow things like this to happen to your mother, your daughter, your sister, your friend, TO YOU?

Thing is, this happened to me before anyone really started talking about it, passing laws, and making a lot of noise about how this extremely small portion of the population should be able to make a claim (with nothing to validate it) and be given free rein to walk right into a private area where women and little girls are at their most vulnerable.

Nothing good can come from this. Situations like what happened to me and that poor little girl will be playing out over and over – until people become desensitized and no one hears our cries any longer, thrusting us right back to becoming the inferior creatures that historically we have been labeled and undoing what so many women in history have fought so valiantly for women to achieve.

This is a step backwards in women’s rights folks.

There are no laws that can govern this so the 65 year old pedophile can dress like a woman and walk right in to the ladies room at Chuck E Cheese. All he has to do is claim that he “identifies as a woman” after all.

And what’s to stop teenage boys from raiding their sister’s clothset and dressing up in order to get a free show. Forget internet porn, they can get right up close and personal in the women’s restroom at their local Taco Bell as long as they dress the part.

I find it ironic that the same society that is bashing women for breastfeeding their babies in public areas (even when covered with a blanket) is opening wide the women’s restroom door to any male who dresses as a female – as long as he says he is “transgender” or “identifies as female.”

Am I the only one who sees this as hypocritical?

And before the whiners start in, I have compassion. This type of disorder is a sad thing (and from a medical standpoint it is a disorder), but this is not the answer. Allowing anyone who dresses like a girl to walk right into the women’s restroom is not the answer. In fact, it is extremely foolish and dangerous.

Create a unisex restroom, like the ones parents with children use.

If you are going to choose to go against the grain do not violate my right to privacy in the process.

I do not hate but I do have common sense.
Nothing good can come from this.

A Letter to the Person who Receives my Organs

Life - Stuart Miles

NOTE from Stephanie:

This is not intended to sway you in one direction or another when making the very personal decision of becoming an organ donor. I just wanted to share my reasons for making the choice to be an organ donor.
To the recipient or recipients of my organs:

I wanted to write this letter to you now because when I am finally able to give you this gift I will no longer have the ability to write. It’s OK though. At that point Jesus will have decided that my time on earth is over and He will have taken me home to be with Him. How exciting that will be!

I want you to know why I chose to give you this gift. It wasn’t for glory or praise. I don’t want to be a hero (which I am not!). It was love, plain and simple. I pray for you even now that God’s will be done in your life. I pray that you know the joy of Christ because there truly is nothing like it!

I want you to know that we are linked now. The gift of life has bound us together. Though I lie below the ground, you keep a part of me alive within your own body. I thank you for giving me this opportunity to give you this awesome gift. I wanted to leave something paramount when I was no longer a resident of this earth. I can do that through you. See, you have helped me as much as I have helped you. We have given each other a new lease on life. Please, treasure it.

Throughout my life I have wanted to help others. I wanted to give hope to people, to families and this is one way that I knew I could do that. I do not know your beliefs, but I want you to understand from my perspective, from my faith, that I strongly feel that God chose us to be linked long before either of us was ever on this earth. He knew that at some point our lives would cross and that you would have a need that only I could fill so He put in my heart the desire to make the commitment to give my own gift of life so that you could have another day. And I am so happy that He chose you!

Please, do not feel any guilt that I had to die so that you could live. That was the plan. My time was finished here and it was time for me to be with my Father. But I don’t need these organs where I am going so I want you to have whatever you need to give you the life that you want and deserve. I have chosen my words carefully here because I want you to understand exactly how I feel and what I want you to do.

My dear, I want you to LIVE.

Feel free to have your “days” feel blue and don’t feel bad or guilty about it. Please be grateful, but be human too. Don’t stop living just because I did. In my death I gave the most wonderful, valuable gift that I could – life. And I wanted to. I wanted to give someone a chance at life within the tragedy of death. I planned it for years, considered it in depth, and discussed it with my family. This was not a decision that was arrived at lightly. I thought about it. I thought about YOU, your family, even though I do not know you personally. I knew you in my heart though and God had already chosen me for you (He knew us before He formed us, did you know that?). And if I can give you just one more day of life, your family just one more day of having you, then it is all worth it.

I want you to know that I worked very hard to keep my organs healthy for you. I took good care of my body, maintained a healthy diet and exercised so that when you receive my heart, lungs, kidneys, liver, whatever, they will serve you well. I wanted my gift to you to be in optimal condition. As I said, I have planned this for a long time.

Just do me a favor, please. Take time for the important things. Hug your kids, tell those you care about that you love them, do something kind for someone else. Take a walk, pick some flowers, stop every now and then to just enjoy this beautiful world that the Lord has given us. I can tell you from experience that time passes way too quickly. If you don’t take time to live today, you may not have the chance tomorrow.

Slow down, clear your schedule. People are too busy and rushed and they miss so much. Just stop, be still, and breathe. Look around, appreciate beauty, and savor every moment that God has given you. And please, please, thank Jesus for giving you another day. That’s a gift, you know.

So, please, when you feel that soft breeze on your face or the sun seems to gently caress your skin, when you feel alive, please raise your hands to heaven and thank God for bringing us together. All of this is because of Him. He put the desire in my heart and He has ordered my steps. I wasn’t perfect, not by a long shot, but I tried to live for Him the best I could. I hope you know Him and if you don’t, I pray that someday someone will love you enough to show you His face and tell you just how much He loves you.

This is my gift to you. Please take good care of it – and don’t ever forget to LIVE.

God bless you,
Stephanie M.