Today my mother-in-law took my husband and me to lunch. While we were eating, the lady came by with the drinks. I was busy attacking my baked potato (not really attacking, just preparing it) and when she asked if I had unsweetened tea, I just nodded without looking up.
Usually I try very hard to be polite because it is so easy for me to just be in my own Aspie world and be what others would perceive as rude. I have asked my husband to tell me when I lapse into the Aspie focus thing so that I can not be rude to people.
When the lady walked away, he leaned over and very quietly whispered, “You really should look at people when you talk to them. It is seen as rude when you don’t.”
I didn’t realize I had done it or that she would perceive me as rude. To me, I was focused on fixing my potato – not regular, NT focus, Aspie focus. It is very intense.
When she came by again, I looked right at her and said, “I am sorry for being rude before. I did not mean to be. Thank you for refilling my tea.”
She smiled very big and her face got shiny. I don’t really know what that means, but she said it was OK that she understood. Her voice changed to a softer, brighter tone. I think she was happy.
Anyway, I was glad that she was happy and did not have hurt feelings.
Just wish I could catch my Aspie lapses more often before I get myself into situations like that.